2019 CMO

[yeahtotally]

✿ Other characters available here. Inactive are special request for long time RP partners only.
✿ Canon/CRAU options are available for Roxas (Forest Covered, The Far Shore, Route 29, Recolle, Awash, Deerington, Asgard), Pidge Gunderson (The Far Shore, Deerington), Cloud (Aefenglom)
✿ Gen threads are A-Okay in here, it's not just for shipping!
✿ Smut can be posted here, BUT MUST BE ACCORDINGLY MARKED IN SUBJECT LINE
✿ Crit is welcome since some of these characters are being voice tested.
✿ Specific prompt you want to do? Hit me up at chromatus, discord chromatus#1363, pm this journal, or choose below!
✿ ACTION BRACKETS PREFERRED. Prose will take longer to reply to.

Fave Prompts
☀ Soulmates	☀ Modern AU	☀ Canon	☀ Canon AU
☀ Monster/Cryptids	☀ High Fantasy	☀ Pokemon	☀ Fairy Tale
☀ Other Series AU	☀ Other Ideas here!

Comments

[missingache]

[The feeling Roxas felt, like his heart jumped into his throat, was very uncomfortable. It abated, leaving behind a very strange thumping. It wasn't the same as the thrill of a fight. This felt... he can't explain it. Strange. He'll call it strange.

Stranger even more when he gets a nagging sensation in the back of his neck to get closer to someone that Roxas never thought he'd see again. Surprise was not the emotion he felt. No, this was more of a dread come true, along with the sense of warmth that just made him want to get up and run. Why was he feeling both happy yet terrified of this man in front of him? Sora beat him. There shouldn't be any fear.]

... You're Xemnas.

[Finally, Roxas shifted to sit on his knees. It would be easier to get up from this position. Just in case, he doesn't move any closer to his once enemy. Once leader. Now he doesn't know what to call the other.]

What are you doing here? [Were there others former Nobodies around? Roxas really didn't want to fight anything today.]

[totalistic]

(The face of Roxas blurred before him. In the gathering mist, Xemnas couldn't make out the figure kneeling close to him, unthreatening. But he knew that voice, the name of its owner, the contradicting feelings that came with it. It was quite a feat that he could register this much in his groggy state. The fallen Superior rose as slightly, the curve of his back and thigh settling into a kneeling position on his imprint in the sand.)

It is not my true name.

(Had he not been humbled by Sora, there was no doubt he'd put on a front of grandiosity and eliminate any inklings of weakness in his psyche. Denial acted as a barrier to buffer undesired feelings yet proved ineffective against latent fragments of memories. Memory crowed upon memory until his mind was overflowing with them. Of days spent watching Roxas sleep in the World That Never Was, that sea salt scent that permeated every nook and cranny of his coat at all times, and the fond, praising smile seconds before drying that made him divided between being relieved, at peace with himself . . . and being regretful of the choices that have led to his demise.)

But I remember you. Maybe because you're all that I have left.

("what are you doing here?"

One could count the seconds Roxas' former tyrannical leader had woken up here, on one hand, so, understandably, the Nobody was at a loss of what to answer. Even though there was no generally accepted view on the afterlife, the Superior was convinced that whatever brought him back to life had a purpose beyond his understanding.)

Unfortunately, that's a question I cannot answer. I have no recollection of anything further for some time after my death.

(While Xemnas was speaking, a heartless, water monster was emerging from the ocean behind him, charging its attack: it had golden eyes shining through the mist, tentacles sprouting from under its head and clapping into the air like a whip.)

[missingache]

[Names. Roxas knows a few names that could be used, yet he didn't know which one would be the right one.]

I know. [Until told what else to use, Xemnas would be the safer option. The one he felt comfortable with at the moment.

He just watched the other quietly. Should he get closer? Back away? There was a lot more conflict inside of him as what to do with Xemnas than Roxas thought he could handle. Sora and the others would have nothing to hold them back, likely attacking Xemnas or at least being far more aggressive than this blond was. Roxas knows he should feel the same, and even how bad things went in the end with the Organization, he was one of them once. Other than maybe Braig, could he really feel hatred toward them? Isa had turned over a new leaf after defeat. That showed that there could be change.

Opening his mouth to reply, it's shut rather quickly as he looks behind Xemnas. What timing... Roxas stood quickly and summoned his Keyblades.]

Look, we can talk about this later. I gotta go take care of that Heartless first. Go get higher on the beach if you can't fight.

[totalistic]

(Xemnas, for now, hadn't taken the same redemption route as Isa's, having not redeemed himself from his previous missteps under the influence of envy. It was something he had to learn about on his own. A heart seemed to have helped Roxas build in him a tendency towards reflection. It wouldn't come as a surprise that Sora's Nobody was weighing his options for how to deal with this whole mess of a situation. Yet, the older man didn't pick up on any animosity.

It was like, in spite of everything, Roxas had moved on from the past. Gloved fingers dug into the sand, a reflex he'd developed when faced by confusion, especially at the sight of his materialized Keyblades. Oddly, the weapons weren't pointed at him; Roxas had every reason to materialize them as a Heartless came up unannounced.

While his first inclination would have been to further their discussion on the question of his rebirth, their fated encounter with the Heartless had delayed it. Normally the Heartless allied with the strongest, meaning they'd obey his power. So how come he couldn't manipulate them? That and his signature weapon, a pair of Ethereal Blades, didn't respond to his call. Feeling depowered, but no less superior to lesser Heartless, the Nobody scrambled to a standing position.

Even as Roxas could take on monsters of this level all by himself, his once-leader opted to fight by his side. That provided a good ground for cooperation. As his head was clearing up, the realization that Pureblood Heartless were closing in on them, ripplings of black everywhere, dawned on him.)

My magic is almost restored. So worry not.

(One of his arms extended towards the swarm of Heartless, Xemnas cast Thundaga into the midst of the horde in front of him. It wasn't half as powerful as he hoped it would be, but hopefully, with so many of the Heartless being in such proximity of each other, it would still deal serious damage considering the conductive properties of water. It was Roxas' turn to strike them down.)

[missingache]

[There was a twinge of fear that Xemnas couldn't get up. That Roxas might have to hold back on an all out offensive in favor of protecting the other. He could do it, but he'd have to dismiss a Keyblade for any decent barrier. Roxas wasn't a self-preservation fighter when both blades were out.

He bit the inside of his lip and readied himself to move in front of Xemnas when his former leader stood. Then he nodded and turned his attention back to the Heartless.]

You should still stay back if you only got magic.

[It wasn't meant as an insult, merely a suggestion. Roxas may not be the best with magic, so he made up for it in brute force. Something he wouldn't want to accidentally hit an ally with.

The thought of Xemnas as an ally again, even temporary, made him pause. It wasn't till he saw the peal of lighting come down that he snapped back into a battle mindset. Taking off at a dead run, Roxas didn't really have a plan. He would hack and slash at anything that got in his way, not matter the size. Any damage he takes during his attacks were just something for future Roxas to worry about after the fighting is done.]

[totalistic]

(In that frozen moment between hitting the swarm with a thunder spell and staying back on Roxas' advice, Xemnas saw the Keyblade Wielder shift into an offensive stance. His face was unreadable, his movements an orchestrated choreography of destruction.

While assisting him in the fight against the Pureblood Heartless on the beach, Xemnas had to be mindful when nailing many of them with a thundaga lest he hurt the blond who expertly slashed through lesser, mindless lifeforms. Though busy with deterring monsters from injuring the ex-Nobody, he found himself lost in admiration of Roxas' aerial grace, of his protectiveness; of the multiple blows that he took subduing the Heartless.

Acknowledging that brought a rush of feelings, some sweet and some sour. Xemnas disliked his betrayal, but so far had no reason to dwell on the bitterness that had resulted from being back-stabbed twice. For all that, his choice was to focus on the battle afoot and the monsters raining down on them. What had begun as a chance meeting of old enemies soon became electrifying cooperation. Then, in a glimpse of time, the last Heartless vanished without a trace.

Relief washed over him, fatigue only following in suit. Xemnas stumbled back on one knee, tired, clutching at the arm that had been extended to cast a spell.)

My assistance wasn't at all required. You fought well.

(Some part of him held no illusion that he was unwelcome where other Wielders of the Keyblade resided, if for no other reason than because he was responsible for Kairi's abduction and subsequent death by Xehanort's hand. He was unaware of Sora using the Power of Waking to look for her heart, though. Maybe, just maybe, the Power of Waking was the clue to figure out the mystery behind his resuscitation.)

[missingache]

[There was something nice about battling like this: it was a good way to vent any anger or negative feelings that had built over time. Roxas could never go all out when sparring in case he would hurt someone. The fight against Isa had shown that he easily outpaced the older man in strength and speed. Sora could possibly keep up in an all out fight... There was a lot of holding back around friends. But in battle? Nothing was safe from this tiny one-man-army.

It came as a slow realization that the enemies were dwindling. Once gone, he felt elated in a way that he hadn't in some time. Maybe he should go out more often to help wipe out more Heartless... A normal life was good, yet it didn't hold the same weight as something like this. That'd be something he'd definitely have to talk to the others about.

Roxas turned back towards Xemnas, eyes going wide. He rushed over and almost tripped as he made himself stop short. With an expression of worry, Roxas dug in his pocket to pull out a small, blue bottle to hand to the other.]

Ether. Xion doesn't let me go anywhere without one.

[He may not use magic much, yet his friends always worried about him getting into some kind of trouble. Ignoring his own hurts, he rummaged around in another pocket for a different bottle to give to Xemnas.]

I have potions if you need one of those too.

[totalistic]

(Nobodies were special, and if Xemnas allowed himself an open mind, perhaps he'd see that it'd always been the case. Much as he wished that Roxas treated his wounds first, voicing this desire would make clear his unnatural sympathy for the other Nobody. It was too soon -- too early for them to form an enduring connection bound by the notion of friendship. For as long as it took the blond to trust and like Axel and Xion, their cooperation brought them close -- made him act in ways that he'd have never imagine doing with others, let alone Roxas.)

Very well. I will make good use of these gifts.

(His head tilted, following the motion of Roxas' hands. Accepting help from others wasn't demeaning to his station anymore, nor was it taken for granted, but something he'd learn to treasure when given freely. Once back on his feet, Xemnas let his hands come up to cradle one vial and drink one after the other. Before he realized it, the Superior feathered his fingers across the tinier palms of Roxas after swallowing his drinks.

For what little it meant to any bystanders nearing close, his fingers continued on questing downward, where scars left by the claws of Heartless seemed to bruise under his clothes. He'd felt so alive during their last battle that the residue of it was palpable. A curaga spell radiated across his bruises unless Roxas forbade it. He had the last say in all this; Xemnas apparently did this by way of reciprocation for his show of kindness.)

I admit to being . . . troubled by your magnanimity. Why the change of heart?

[missingache]

[Good. Roxas didn't know what he would have done if Xemnas had turned down the healing items. Likely thrown a fit of some kind, or try the Sora method of seeing if his pout was as effective as his Somebody's could be. Since those options didn't have to be used he can feel a small smile tugging at his lips.

Roxas tilted his head curiously. He wouldn't stop Xemnas, just wonder why the other would want to do that. Healing himself could have come later, or when he would return home to be lectured by Xion for not doing it right away. There's a small thank you said under his breath. The question he's asked keeps Roxas from asking his own as he let out a soft laugh. How to answer this...]

I was there at the end. When Sora defeated Xehanort, the old one. Sora... I don't think he forgave him, not fully, not after all the pain he put everyone through. And it just made me think a lot. [A small pout tugs down his previous smile.] We were all just pieces in a game for a guy who wanted to save the world, but he did it in a really bad way. You got caught up in it just like everyone else did...

[There's hesitation as he decided to go on or not. What he wanted to say and what he does say are two very different things.] And you haven't attacked me. So that means I gotta at least give you a chance. Right?

[totalistic]

(Loyalty. Affection. Such concepts were out of his grasp, having been used for manipulating Xion into fighting her best friend. Countless times Roxas had fallen victim to his mind games before, having been exploited for his ability to wield a Keyblade. Despite everything, there was a room in his heart for forgiveness. That much confused him further.

That was how it felt, to agonize over paths untaken.

For a moment Xemnas stood there, frozen with an expression that betrayed remorse. Regret seeped to the foreground of his mind, like the slow waves on the shallow beach, and demand to be re-examined again. But he expressed tiredness at thinking about it; no amount of analysis would turn back the clock. He found that he was appreciative of the second chance given to him, by the boy who had every right to annihilate him right on the spot. The reflexive tightening of his fingers on his shirt gave him away.

It was strange being shown mercy. His pouting inspired a more remorseful look on the older man's face. At the very least, being close to Roxas brought him at least a small measurement of something akin to comfort. Turning his back to him, with his hand grasping at his shirt, Xemnas realized that he couldn't look him in the eye.

Out of gratefulness for having his life spared, he decided that the teenager deserved to know the truth.)

While your assessment is true for the most part, it is filled with plenty of assumptions.

(Eyes swept closed, his heart sank heavily in his guts. Its weight rooted him in place. His hand fell again, and when his gaze met Roxas', it was laced with forlornness.

That was unnerving, more than his demise at the hand of Sora.)

Despite full knowledge of being instrumental in purging the impurities of the World, each of us retained independence. I foolishly believed that, in the New World, you would stay by my side forever. I was willing to sacrifice everything to fulfill my goal. Including your friends.

(A pause.)

In the end, I regret everything.

(Both of his hands shifted to hold the petite boy's face, craning it up to look him right in the eye. He offered him a paper-thin smile, the kind of which that could melt doubts away.)

I lack the strength of will needed to bear a heart. It's all but pain. I am unable to move past that.

[missingache]

[Reading expressions hadn't always been a strong suit. Not when people could feel so many emotions at once. Someone could look sad, but deep down still be happy. Roxas watched Xemnas with some frustration building up that he couldn't ever truly know just what the other was thinking.

Hearing that made him frown deeply. Why would...? Xemnas looked sadder than anyone Roxas can remember seeing like that.]

You mean everyone in the Organization? [Or him specifically? That statement both confused him, yet brought a strange flutter into his chest. Best shove that down for now.] I know. And even though I lost Xion for a while, my friends stayed strong. Because friendship does make you stronger...

[Regret?]

I think Sora might need to hear you say you regret things more than me.

[Sora had always been the hardest affected out of all his friends. Even that sunshine smile had been almost wiped out permanently at one time.

Having his face taken like that by anyone would get a reaction. Roxas kicked himself mentally for the redness appearing on his cheeks anyways.]

I don't think that's true. There's a lot more to hearts than just pain.

[totalistic]

Every member of the Original Organization, yes. (As for apologizing himself, Xemnas persisted in thinking that confessing to Roxas was a good start. As upsetting as the admission was, being with the blond made repenting less difficult. For now, he would have to put that on hold.) I may honour the last memory I have of him instead.

(Did he deserve forgiveness after the damage that he'd wrought on his life and that of his friends?

It wasn't up to him to pass judgment on his sinful actions. It had always been easier to craft an image of cold villainy; Xemnas did use people like pawns on a chessboard, to be moved around at will, in the past. He was very skilled in reading emotions in facial expressions, and therefore better at utilizing them to further his ends.

All the conflicting emotions that had been raging through him in the wake of coming back from the dead -- the fear that he might be eliminated balanced by the hope that he wasn't, the need to stay by Roxas' side balanced by the need to part ways; they were all drowned out by the optimistic message the boy shared. Not to mention the unspeakable flutter in his chest as Roxas didn't pull away -- his hands cradling either side of his face in a very tender gesture.

His eyes kept coming back to that redness blooming across his cheeks. It was not obvious, but not as subtle as he'd like either. If granting him the undivided focus of his attention elicited such a reaction from him, Xemnas would have to give him some space. Too much was standing between them, and it wasn't safe to breach the invisible barrier that separated them from one another. Still, despite himself, part of him felt upset at letting go of Roxas. As the Superior gently rubbed a thumb across his cheek and relinquished his face, a pang of something akin to frustration bent his heart in all sort of twists.)

Allow me another question, then. (His voice softened, warmed up by their exchange.) Why is it that the hearts are scarred with the vagaries of life? Even the bond of friendship may fail to palliate that, no matter how strong it is.

[missingache]

[Would Xemnas really want them all? Even with Lea having been a traitor? Roxas would ask this of Xemnas were it not for the next part. Honoring the last memory... It left a bitter taste in the blonds mouth as he thought of Sora. They needed to find him somehow. Right now Roxas couldn't do it himself. This was the situation that he needed to keep his focus on.

Mainly asking himself why Xemnas was watching him so closely. The stuttering he felt in his chest was becoming painful as he did his best to stay still. There was just something that he didn't understand occurring here and it was terrifying.

Terrifying that he enjoyed the attention, and the other spectrum of how easy it would be for his former boss to cause harm. One thing Roxas learned fast in a human body is that they could be very breakable. There is relief and confusion when the thumb is rubbed against his cheek as the hands were pulled away.

One of his own hands moved up to touch the cheek that was caressed before he could stop himself. What a question...]

... I think... those are the hearts that need time. And to know someone is there for them, no matter how damaged they are. Even if it takes years for that person to reach out to someone, as long as they do, then healing can happen. [His hand dropped and he shoved both of them in his pants pockets to not fidget.] What matters, though, is that the person wants to change and heal. If they don't want that, no one can help them.

[totalistic]

Then much hinges on the connections that Hearts have with one another and their surroundings, rather than on their own will to heal.

(His journey towards healing would begin once he gave himself permission to change. Should he ask Roxas to help him process through emotional baggage? The boy was careful -- which he appreciated -- but his speech received a mixed reaction from the Superior when he hid his hands in his pocket. No matter how well-intentioned he was, and no matter how much Xemnas felt connected to the boy on a soulmate level, the Nobody couldn't help the flare of distrust upon having caught Roxas hiding something from him.

Roxas had known him at his worst, and while it might be expected from his friends to search Xemnas for any sign that that person might still be in there, somewhere, being subjected to such scrutiny would trigger his hostility. He'd never learned to play fair with others as an apprentice. In fact, he encouraged himself not to do it.

It wasn't something he'd tried to change. Friends were assets first and foremost. If not, they had to be discarded as liabilities.)

One can only hope that friendship leads to healing. It offers a compelling perspective, to say the least.

(Calling forth a dark portal to Twilight Town, Xemnas drew his talk to a conclusion with that statement. Obviously, Roxas telling his former boss to change nearly had the opposite effect, winding the tension in his shoulders up a notch higher. It seemed that, in every moment, he felt defective. Unfit for this world, guilty for not being right. )

For a moment, I've felt -- (A lump formed in his throat -- a lump that grew with each passing beat --stuck to the tip of his tongue -- and before long Xemnas found himself stumbling blindly in the field of words.) -- a strong connection with you. A kind of emotional tether, however fleeting.

(For the longest time Xemnas mulled that thought over, pulling his hood up over his head as he parted his lips to speak.)

Have you felt the same way?

[missingache]

Well, yeah. Connections are important. It's pretty sad if you don't have any...

[If asked, the hiding wasn't intentional to make Xemnas distrust Roxas. He just wasn't 100% sure of how he should act around the other. Should he still be like a subordinate? Try for a different approach? Be as relaxed and casual as with his friends, or treat Xemnas like an acquaintance. There just was no way to be sure except to ask.

If Roxas could even think of the words on how to ask about something like that.]

I don't think you have to be friend-friends to have that connection. Family works, too.

[Nobodies didn't have families. At least Roxas and Xion didn't, not in the traditional sense. Maybe Lea and Isa could be something like that since they were the older ones in the Twilight Town crew. It might be too much to expect. Roxas was just happy to have his friends around in general, no matter what the label was.

He tilted his head as he listened to the most eloquent and well spoken man he knew struggling to say something. There was an expression of concern that quickly dissipated into a shocked kind of surprise. Now Roxas wished he still wore his coat so he could hide his face in the hood. The admission and question just sent all sorts of fluttering feelings into his stomach as hands were pulled out of pockets to cover his face.

That in itself should be the answer to the question Roxas knew he had to answer out loud despite the embarrassment he felt.]

Uhm... yeah... I was... trying to pretend I didn't feel anything like that. Since I don't know if we're enemies or not. [Please stop beating normally, heart, they were probably talking about different connections.] I've had a heart for a while now, but it keeps doing things I can't figure out.

[totalistic]

(Xemnas appeared positively befuddled at his flustering, a puzzled look on his face.

The Superior could find no rational grounds for Roxas' nervousness, or his rather embarrassment at being the recipient of his undivided attention. After much mental guessing, the Nobody concluded that he hadn't taken a wrong turn -- hadn't stepped on a nerve either. There was no logical reason for him to lose his composure over being confessed to. For all that, everything was still in the realm of novelty, and it belatedly occurred to him that Roxas had little to no preparedness plans for dealing with explosive emotions.

As the blonde-haired Keybearer stumbled through the words that basically boiled down to yes, I do, left him voiceless, setting his heart in flutters. It started spinning free, out of control, as the findings of his investigation went beyond his expectations. Nonetheless, he had enough trouble with emotional intimacy to respect a clearly set boundary.)

The heart is an unfathomable thing, even for you.

(Again, no bite in his tone. No poison or resentment in his words.

It felt oddly comforting having something in common with Roxas. As comforting as the return of an odd feeling dancing around the definition of déjà-vu. Perhaps he felt foolish for allowing himself to be so exposed - vulnerable, almost - but it never transpired. Something in the nature of content pervaded his being if nothing else. Only by overcoming their enmity and putting their differences behind them could they start all over again. It wouldn't have been a wise venture to assume that just because Roxas was open to the possibility of forgiving Xemnas meant that his friends were on the same page. The distrust was a result of deep-rooted fears that had come from traumatic experiences.)

Well, here's where we part ways.

(Golden eyes darted from Roxas to the dark portal, alertness in his eyes.)

Would you like to continue our conversation elsewhere? Twilight Town seems . . . rather fitting.

dw ate the notif for this :|

[missingache]

[Hearts were complicated. The person Roxas wanted to talk to most about it wasn't around, and he didn't know who else to go to. Aqua seemed like a good choice, but he didn't want to be treated like a Ventus-copy or like his face twin in any way. So that left Terra out as well though for different reasons. His only other choices that popped into mind were Riku and Kairi. Neither seemed a palatable choice at the moment.

So figuring things out on his own was likely the game plan for right now. Unless somehow Lea was suddenly a heart expert. A lot of doubt came with that line of thinking...

His chest felt cold as a jolt hit his heart hard when he heard those words. It sent an irrational fear that he might not see Xemnas again. He remained quiet, feeling that any heat in his cheeks was long gone. Hands remained where they were to conceal a deep frown.

Till he's asked if they should go to Twilight Town. Roxas' hands dropped, his face full of surprise at this sudden change.]

Right now? Together?

[Wait. Was Twilight Town even a safe choice? A million thoughts raced before the blond nodded.]

The mansion. Not a lot of people go there anymore, and the others think I'll be gone all day. [It was the most rational place to go and not scare the hell out of his friends who might not view Xemnas in the same light that Roxas does.]

>( /slaps the shit out of dw

[totalistic]

Obviously.

(Came a deep-voiced, baritone-laden reply.)

The mansion it is, then.

(The ways of the heart were difficult to discern at times; there were missing answers, but their elusiveness set him to thinking deeply, and the result of that mental activity was a determination to master them. With this line of thinking, Xemnas found himself taking on a new character. The thing that exalted him was the idea that Roxas was coming back to where they first met -- turning to him to decipher emotions in the context of personal development. In a way, the Superior clung to the ideals that he'd awakened in him.

Twilight Town was the easiest place to begin anew. And then, his newly awakened excitement urged him back to the haunt where Roxas, freshly separated from Sora's heart, was given purpose and whisked away to the World That Never Was. Trust, acceptance, forgiveness appeared to him in a new light since he'd rubbed elbows with the likes of Sora -- Roxas' specifically.

It was with a lighter step forward -- the biggest leap of faith -- that he held his hand out to Roxas, palm up. Any lingering annoyance that he might be accused of Roxas' disappearance was forgotten. Even as Roxas' associates would be keen on fastening guilt upon him and fading back into old distrust, Xemnas had every conviction that his former subordinate had warmed up to a different vision of his once-leader. If Roxas hadn't been hiding his face for a while, it might have slipped just then -- an arched brow that would have betrayed how impossible it was for him to let go of the other. What did shine through was the willingness he displayed in trying to be the vision of repentance.)

We shall go together.

[missingache]

[Good, good. Roxas felt relief when his suggestion was taken. No need to worry about possibly having to choose a side if his friends were involved. He couldn't be sure what he would do in a situation where he had to pick between loyalty and what his heart wanted. The previous times this had been an issue always ended badly.

His own thoughts drifted to what the mansion meant to him. Roxas didn't really remember being named there. His memories from the first few weeks of being a Nobody were a blur with his zombie-like reactions to thing until his brain caught up and functioned right. To him, the mansion was both a place of pain and where some good things happened.

Focusing on the good seemed like the better idea.

Xemnas holding out his hand made Roxas jolt out of his thoughts. Being offered the choice instead of having it taken from him, or not offered at all, made his chest feel warm. There was still hesitance. Taking his former Superior's hand meant giving Xemnas a lot of trust. Trust to not just lead Roxas into danger, get him hurt, or maybe something worse. Whatever was worse than those two things didn't readily come to mind. Can't be good if Roxas thought of an "or" option...

No.

No dwelling on thoughts. Argue with himself. A decision needed to be made, and Roxas nodded to himself. He placed his hand gingerly in Xemnas' outstretched hand and waited to be led with a nervous smile tugging at his lips.]

Let's go then.

[totalistic]

("The truth of the Keyblade lays dormant, labelled as myth, waiting to be explored, challenged, trained and developed."

Here, upon emerging unannounced from the Corridor of Darkness and into the clearing just outside of the manor, Xemnas' heart was suffused with nostalgia.

Recognition was immediate; it was there he'd given Roxas a name -- had offered him a place in Organization XIII.

Twilight Town clothed him in grey hues, the cold colours of winter. There was nothing to be gained by protesting the attire, even more so when the wintry garb served its purpose of helping him blend in with the denizens of Light. It wasn't only because he equally felt no inclination to stand out from the herd of hearts, essentially avoiding any unwanted scrutiny.

The lightweight knit itself was form-fitting -- snug to a fault -- matching with the shade of his hair, with the flannel shirt worn open over it.

Xemnas' every breath came out ragged as his vessel grew used to the scent of greenery that the cooler air brought. Without gloves on, the Superior privately rejoiced in each change to his senses as it occurred, savouring the warmth that radiated from Roxas' fingers through his which made his breath hitch and lodge in his throat. The touch lingered for a moment more, with their fingers entwined, their breath mingling, their eyes locked -- then the Superior willed himself to stride over after a few moments of enjoying the short-lived closeness.

His eyes persisted in boring through the gates of the Old Mansion, searching for clues and leads.

A soft laugh broke from his lips, but instantly he sobered and his face softened.)

The Memory Pods, (He felt absolutely confident that many of them were still functioning in DIZ's laboratory.) Are they still in use? The missing answers to the Heart may lay partly in memory restoration.

(-- and implantation, as it was.)

What I perceive as a possibility, you may see it as a moral quandary after the happenings in the digitalized version of Twilight Town.

[missingache]

[Being outside the mansion, in his own body, made a prickle go up Roxas' spine. It was indistinguishable from the one in the digital world. The only differences being that the weather here was cold. Winter wasn't one of his favorite seasons. Already he wished that spring would come soon, followed by the heat of summer. It would be months before his wish would be granted.

He swallowed hard, hoping it wasn't noticed, when blue eyes looked up at gold. This closeness was already too much and more more than he could have hoped for. It wasn't till Xemnas looked away that Roxas could feel his breath coming out steadier, having sped up the longer the moment lasted.

While the Superior searched, the smaller blond took in the others appearance. He almost laughed himself when he noted that Xemnas and Lea both seemed to favor tighter clothing. Xemnas wasn't a string bean compared to his fire haired friend so it was a much more pleasant sight. Not something he would admit out loud for sure.

He blinked as he tilted his head when he heard the laugh.]

I don't know. The last time I saw one was when I went back to Sora. I know the computer still works, so maybe?

[A frown came unbidden.] But... wouldn't you need someone to help with that? Sora had Naminé helping restore the memories-[Even if it used Roxas to do it. After knowing Sora, the irritation at having been locked there was nowhere near as sharp as before. If only they had asked, he would have come along, just to meet Sora.]-So who would you use for help? That world was made for me.

[totalistic]

Indeed.

(The bodily response the Superior received was enough reason to step aside, the hard swallow evidence of the discomfort the other Nobody was drawing from his proximity, and so Xemnas started to wonder if maybe he wasn't the most desiring of that need. Yet, there was something to be said for dependency on contact - on kinship.

Perhaps he'd have to reach out to him some other way. This was . . . still infinitely better than flat-out aloofness -- the sort of distance that came with the passage of time, with the maturity to accept it as a necessary step for them to be together.

On a rather comical note, he hadn't been the most receptive to Roxas' obvious ogling. With an imposing physique honed from years of Keyblade Training, courtesy of Terra, no wonder it didn't leave the younger man indifferent, as one could mildly put it. Likewise, Xemnas found that Roxas' attire complemented his petite, slimline figure as it cinched his upper body then flowed outward from the waist-down, featuring chessboard patterns here and there. His fashion sense was a far cry from Sora's, but that wasn't something he'd own up to.)

Their primary use is to aid Naminé in her memory manipulation. They are very beneficial in furthering memory-based powers.

(Gracefully, Xemnas gestured towards the former base of Diz's operation.)

If she supports our cause, ask for her assistance.

(Regardless of what Xemnas thought about Roxas merging with Sora, or having his heart locked with another's, no resentment came nowhere as sharp as before. Not from him . . . for now. But nevertheless, the idea was always uppermost in his thoughts. Recognizing his own humanity made it easier to revolt, not alone against the injustice which had compelled Roxas to relinquish his own individuality, but at the thought of Ansem the Wise being forgiven easily for all he'd done. A similar treatment would be out of the question when it came to him, proof of it being the annihilation of Xehanort's selves at the end of the Keyblade War.)

Nothing would please me more than to meet her again. On amicable terms, of course.

[missingache]

[Checker pattern will always be somewhere no matter that this small blond wore. A goow way to reflect dark and light in a way everyone could understand. And no one ever said Roxas had any fashion sense. As long as the clothes could be fought in, what does it matter what he wears?]

I can ask her later. When the others aren't around.

[Mostly so that no one would jump down his throat for even getting anywhere near Xemnas and entertaining the thought of assisting a former enemy. Getting memories back was important-

Roxas blinked a few times as his gaze moved down to the ground. Thinking about it really thoroughly now made tears threaten to sting at his eyes. If Xemnas regained everything he needed just to understand his heart, that might mean this strange connection could change. What if it wasn't Roxas in the end that the draw was for? What if he was just a substitute? For Ventus. That had to be it. Ventus had been around when Terra was turned. It had to be that. Had to be him.

Swallowing these dark thoughts down, Roxas forces a smile as he looked up at Xemnas. At least he didn't feel the need to cry anymore as he controlled his breathing.]

I think Marluxia is the only one she wouldn't want to meet with again, and me being there should make it easier if she agrees.

[totalistic]

Certainly, this is a valid point as well.

(Satisfied with Roxas' reply, Xemnas was already entertaining the prospect of meeting with the witch in the chamber housing crystal pods. The restoration of his memories might take longer than expected, though it was highly unlikely that any slowness in the process would be due to "leaked memories" gaining sentience through one of his past experiments.)

The circumstances warrant caution.

(Never had his sense of kinship been more evident than when he was in the company of Roxas, the bond too deep for formal titles. Nothing was more enduring than true connection -- both spiritual and emotional -- and theirs would be no exception to that. Nobodies expressed their emotions in a much more physical representation that was easier to relate to, so unconsciously the Superior wanted to prove that.

But then something was off with Roxas' face. His smile looked forced, far from genuine. Subtle shifts in facial expressions were never lost on him. As he exalted his capacity for attentiveness, Xemnas would never have guessed how little the boy thought of himself. Even as he and Ventus shared uncanny similarities, using him as a substitute was the furthest thing on his mind. It was true that once separated from the heart, the body looked for a burgeoning replacement every chance it got. The same couldn't be said for what was contained therein. That explained why Terra sought after Ventus rather than a Ventus-copy. As far as he was concerned, Xemnas had no interest in being drawn to anyone that wasn't . . . Roxas. Possibly their unbreakable connection accounted for it. A pity that he didn't vocalize it.)

So that leaves us with some spare time on our hands.

(He took barely a moment to decide, the only shift of thought a brief gleam in his golden eyes, and Xemnas bridged the gap between them. Though he gathered that such proximity was overwhelming for both of them, he also meant it to be . . . comforting, everything from the soft touch to Roxas' cheek to the gentle caress of his thumb across his cheek.)

What would you like to do?

[missingache]

[Xemnas might not want to call Namine a witch around Roxas. He would take offense for the girl, no matter what his feelings may be for his former Superior. Roxas had a temper, one he wouldn't deny, especially when it came to people he cared for.]

She's good at keeping quiet if you're worried about her talking.

[The smile faltered when Xemnas moved close. More out of curiosity of what would come next than fear. Would he ever get used to this closeness without reacting? Roxas couldn't help but lean into the caress as he thought of what they could do.]

We could... go inside? Or I could sneak into town and get some ice cream. Unless you think it's too cold. [Ice cream could be eaten all year in his opinion.] I could get something warm instead. Like hot chocolate or coffee.

[Adults like coffee. Roxas didn't mind it, drinking it black much to his friends surprise. The bitterness wasn't as bad as his friends claimed, but then again, this is the guy who loves sea salt ice cream.]