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novachrysalia2019-07-28 09:23 am
yeahtotally) wrote in novachrysalia2019-07-28 09:23 am
2019 CMO
✿ Other characters available here. Inactive are special request for long time RP partners only.
✿ Canon/CRAU options are available for Roxas (Forest Covered, The Far Shore, Route 29, Recolle, Awash, Deerington, Asgard), Pidge Gunderson (The Far Shore, Deerington), Cloud (Aefenglom)
✿ Gen threads are A-Okay in here, it's not just for shipping!
✿ Smut can be posted here, BUT MUST BE ACCORDINGLY MARKED IN SUBJECT LINE
✿ Crit is welcome since some of these characters are being voice tested.
✿ Specific prompt you want to do? Hit me up atchromatus, discord chromatus#1363, pm this journal, or choose below!
✿ ACTION BRACKETS PREFERRED. Prose will take longer to reply to.
Fave Prompts ☀ Soulmates ☀ Modern AU ☀ Canon ☀ Canon AU ☀ Monster/Cryptids ☀ High Fantasy ☀ Pokemon ☀ Fairy Tale ☀ Other Series AU ☀ Other Ideas here!
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A shiver ran down his spine. Savoring everything did sound good. All the new experiences happening might overload him in the long run, but it was fine. It was with someone he wanted to be like this with. Even if he felt very, very self-conscious with most of his clothing off. There was almost an urge to hide before he took a steadying breath.]
N-No. Just. Like you said, we can go slow.
[Scarlet. Roxas felt himself flush rather hotly under that look, so much so that he knew his face had to be scarlet. The blush had spread to his ears and neck that he could feel, though he wouldn't be surprised if he had a tint of red all over.
A hand flew to his mouth to muffle a moan as his other went right into Xemnas' hair. To bury into those tresses for some kind of hold that he hoped wouldn't be too rough. Having his skin so thoroughly teased, his nipples played with, was already becoming far more enjoyable than he thought it would be. Roxas bit down on his hand to keep himself even a little under control and to further stifle any noise. No matter how much his erection throbbed for relief, he didn't want to be seen as too childish by coming too soon. A sore hand could be dealt with later.
Which wasn't something he had to worry about long when he glanced down and saw... well, he would call it impressive. Stomach dropping so with how unexpected it was. The blond forgot about his needs for a moment as his mind raced at just how big everything on Xemnas seemed to be compared to how small he was. There was a surge of a strange kind of happiness that at this moment everything about Xemnas was a sight for him only. Even if Roxas had no idea how that size of an erection could fit anywhere in him. He would wait and see what would come next, stomach fluttering with nerves and excitement.]
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(If asked, Xemnas wouldn't subject Roxas to mental pain and distress. As such, some areas wouldn't be worth visiting.)
(Roxas' words were cute and enchanting. Nothing was forbidden. Everything was permitted. The tiniest graze of teeth on his skin provoked so immediate a reaction, the stain of the blush creeping all across his face. It was hard not to peek at the throbbing of his hardness, and he did it once, lewdly so, but his amber eyes flickered back up to his lips. The stifled sounds that leaked through his lips were distracting, and it took a moment to register the progress of his fingers, the pull of them on his silky tresses.
His amber eyes arrested on Roxas' blue ones, brimming with sinful understanding. It's so big, his cute face seemed to say, How is it going to fit inside of me. He almost ejaculated on the spot. His cock, his pecs, his muscles -- every bit of him was for Roxas to feast on only. It might have been that sense of exclusivity that coaxed the young child to be so willing, made him pliant so that Xemnas resumed sucking first the nipples and then taking as much of the flesh in his mouth as he could, making sluglike noises as he licked over them.
More than anything the muffled sounds encouraged him to shimmy downward and hold his thighs up and apart, Roxas' knees drawn up to his shoulders. Xemnas looked down at the forbidden fruit - the gentle, perfect crescent of Roxas' teen ass. He had never cared much about such aesthetics - but the velvety appearance of a high-school boy’s slick slit was on another level entirely. Experimentally he slid a finger inside and nearly gasped at the sensation of sinking his digit into what felt like a dish of warm cherry pie. His eyes were lidded, heavy, at the realization that Roxas' cock was in dire need of a direct lavishing by a skilled tongue. Swirling across the corona, its motions ceased only to suckle on his balls. Certain physical limitations still existed, flaws of the flesh, like premature ejaculation, but those would be overcome with ingenuity and patience. A sensory influx came back with a vengeance as Xemnas knew every spot to hit while orally pleasuring his former subordinate, hands busily fondling hypersensitive balls or gently sliding his finger in up to his knuckle as he worked.
It was so tight. Impossibly so.
It didn't last longer than he thought it would have. Slurping his shaft from his lips with a 'pop' and sliding his finger out, Xemnas reclined himself on the mattress, with his knees bent and legs outstretched for easy access to his big cock. As he propped himself up with his arms to await his lover's mouth, the Superior started to jerk himself off next to him. The exertion had raised a sheen of sweat on his handsome features, his sexy lip-biting expression showing how aroused he was -- he had never seen or even conceived of such tightness; it had been nothing but the clap before the real fireworks. He looked titanic, his rippling midriff and heavy thighs making Roxas seem pixie-like by comparison.
He huffed and puffed a little as he handled himself, imagining doing things to Roxas. He tried to limit his thoughts only to that. But his cock seemed to have a mind of its own. His fantasies grew more and more perverse; he couldn't help but imagine Roxas sneaking away to suck him off during a party, clad in his school uniform, servicing his cock on his knees until the Superior shot his big load in his eager mouth.)
Touch me, Roxas.
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As attention was turned back to sucking on skin, Roxas let his eyes flutter shut. The fact he couldn’t see and only hear and feel what Xemnas was doing added another layer of sensitivity. They sprung open when the blond felt his legs being moved.
The position was embarrassing to him. Far more exposed than previously. Still, he tried to remain calm since he was under the assumption that his former superior knew what to do. He had so far, and Roxas would continue to let things keep going for the moment. There was a flash of some discomfort in his eyes before he shut them tightly, unused to anything entering him in such an intimate way. Remembering to breathe helped him relax enough to try and get used to this new sensation. Relaxation became a jolt and tension seized his back for a few minutes with a mouth on one of the most sensitive parts of his body. His hand couldn’t hold back the noises Roxas had been trying to hard to hide. Mind blanking out at the lavish treatment, the blond couldn’t have cared less if he came or not. There was too much to focus on. It was easier to just let his mind not do anything at all and succumb to the moment. Melt into it. Feel like he would become a puddle of goo before the night was done.
It was over before he knew it. Which was fine. Roxas had time to catch his breath as he looked over at Xemnas. He’d been quick to shift to sit on his knees with his fingers kneading into the bed. Where was he supposed to look first? Eyes drifted slowly to take it all in as his stomach jolted more and more. His own lips would be bruised with how hard his teeth were digging into the soft skin. Was that blood he was tasting on his tongue?
The comical way Roxas blinked when he was told to touch showed just how much he’d been in his own world. Admiring what he was seeing. Thinking about what could happen here. Unsure is how one would describe his expression as he reached a hand out. Letting fingers slide along that tanned and muscular stomach. He took an unsteady breath as he felt childish once more.]
How do you want me to touch you?
[Asking for guidance was okay, right? As much as he wanted to just explore, the last thing he wanted to do was upset the other man. He knew what he wanted, and the blond would go with that. Exploration could happen some other time when there was more trust and caring built up.]
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There would be other times in which penetrative sex was more appropriate. Fucking him with his cock was off-limits. In his own highly charged state of arousal, Xemnas could feel with heightened clarity beach-kissed fingers pressing into the lines of muscles as his hand trailed down and lingered there. Trust and care weren't peripheral factors in Roxas' sexual wellbeing; they were central to it. There was a pause, his breath shuddering out as Roxas looked so unsure, as he took an unsteady breath. Often, the willingness of a willing partner by its own merits was enough to make attentive all the more.)
I'll show you. Watch.
(Thinking of his much smaller hand or mouth wouldn't do the trick anymore anyway. Xemnas reached for his hand laying flat on his stomach, then guided it further down. He did until Roxas' fingers joined his on his thickened erection. Better. It always felt better when others touched it, be it with their mouth, fingers, or orifices. Such an advance might have been brazen, or unwelcome, but the Superior made it clear that Roxas' hands were free to move wherever they wished. Sex required loads of responsibility on his part -- Roxas' body was too immature, too tight to receive him -- not to mention that it was too soon.)
Yes. Keep using your fingers. Don't stop.
(His voice broke on a languid moan, his breath and hand speeding up in a demonstration of what he wanted. Needed. For so long he'd been alone -- his heart torn by the taint of darkness, anger and solitude -- that he'd forgotten what it felt like to be touched by someone he cared for; what it felt like to let Roxas purge his heart with light, take way the aching emptiness he'd felt -- give him back the part that was gone in Nothingness. After all, he'd given his heart over to that child -- so only he could free Xemnas from that imprisonment.
His amber eyes remained on his even as the older Nobody pressed Roxas hard against his chest, surrounding him with his hardness and warmth, making him listen to the wild beating of his heart. Pre-cum slicked, skilful fingers groped at his cute, pert bottom, a bit lewdly for his tastes, then his index sensually slid in his slit with heartbreaking gentleness. Almost all the way in -- it was certainly not enough to fill him, not nearly satisfying, but it was something slightly more than merely a teasing gesture, and he was ever so slow about withdrawing it. Just as he was slow about pressing it back in a second later, stabbing against his prostrate.)
That's it, Roxas. Let me hear you.
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Especially when his hand is taken and moved. Swallowing hard, finding mouth and throat dry as he did, Roxas was quite startled to find that this erection was a lot different from his own. It was intimidating. His hand squeezed down on it, making him almost apologize. Instead he bit his lip again to stop anything from slipping out to further show just how little he knew. Even if it was obvious that the small blond really didn’t know much. That wouldn’t deter him, though, as he tried to mimic what Xemnas had done to himself. Up and down, focusing moving his wrist, not the entire arm. Far more gently since he didn’t know how much pressure one was supposed to use when it wasn’t your own erection that you were handling.
Hurting Xemnas, even on accident, would be awful.
He’d keep touching as long as Xemnas let him. The only thing that would make him stop would be noises of pain.
Which would be hard to hear with his head now pressed against the older man’s chest. Hearing that heartbeat made his own stutter. Out of curiosity he’d listened to Xion’s once when the girl had wanted to know what it sounded like. Her chest was a lot softer than what Roxas felt at the moment, but she certainly didn’t have the same effect as Xemnas did. As much as he adored Xion, she had never made him feel like at any moment his leg would become jello with a smile. Roxas was far more smitten than he’d ever want to admit out loud with his former Superior now that it wouldn’t be weird. Wouldn’t be frowned on. Would it ever have been frowned on?
Not important. Listening to the heart under him was. The beat was so much stronger, louder, thumping in a way where Roxas was sure it would pop out of the others chest at any moment. A silly thought since Roxas at least knew there was bone between the heart and escape. The literal heart at least. Listening to the rhythm made him want to match the movement of his hand to it, but would that be too fast? He could ask…]
Should I-[His mouth snapped shut as he ducked his head down to hide it. Roxas had known those fingers were moving down and he still hadn’t felt prepared to be entered again. A hot blush covered his face from the feeling and the fact he was holding his breath.
He spared a glance at Xemnas, trying not to dig his nails of his free hand into the other man’s chest. Blue eyes certainly stood out between the strands of blond hair and scarlet cheeks as he let a stuttering breath out.]
I-It’s embarrassing!
[The noises. He hated how he sounded.]
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Roxas' heart patched his own up with its light, carried him through all of that mind-numbing pain. Intimacy felt like a dive into the heart, into the conscious, into the now, into the authenticity of his being. Sooner than he'd expected, Xemnas allowed himself to fall with the desperate determination of one who had given in. Given into trust, into love, into Roxas. There was no safety net to catch him if -- and when -- he fell. Not like he needed one -- he knew what lay in wait: the joining of their hearts.
The unsure, minute stroke of his hand over his erection snapped him out of his perverse imaginings, squeezing against sensitive skin. It quickened the beat of his heart, his mind slowly blanking out as it treaded a breathless edge into each breath he took. Cool and collected as per usual, the Superior was far more affected than he let show. For all that, Xemnas focused on how Roxas felt -- self-conscious. Also because Roxas lowered his voice to low, muted notes, Xemnas had no idea his finger was intruding when it titillated his virginity. As he slid his finger out, he could hear the words over his ragged breath -- frantic, urgent and accompanied by a flush across his cheeks.
Those blue eyes ... Xemnas felt himself falling in love with them. With him. )
Oh? (As sexuality was new to the small blond, no wonder he lacked the vocabulary to convey his message, but at the very least he could point to it. Now was the moment to put him at ease.) Can I be of assistance in any way?
(Roxas' light weight shifted, all of it coming across his former Superior's lap. To have him balanced across it wouldn't mean he was captured there. Unless the large hands of his former boss coming around his pert butt made him feel that way, the sensual roll of his hips causing more friction, sweat and pre-cum slicking the way for their cocks sliding against one another. And Xemnas was putting on a show, becoming sex incarnate, driven by the need to coax more of those sweet sounds from the petite boy.)
Tell me anything. Open your heart to me.
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Opening his heart would mean admitting about his current problem. A stupid problem he’d realize much later. Something he was getting needlessly worked up about due to inexperience and lack of confidence. It seemed liked the worst thing in the world for now.
Saying something would be a good thing. It should be fine. Right? The biggest fear or voicing his current dilemma would be some form of rejection or mockery. There would be far more than a blow to his pride if either of those things were to occur. Yet he couldn’t keep it to himself. Stubbornness needed to be shoved aside.
With some difficulty, he lowered his hand just enough to speak.]
I don’t… like how I sound…
[Not in the general speaking way. Or in the singing way, if his friends teasing and remarks were to be believed. Roxas knew his voice wasn’t bad, but it was a higher pitch than he’d like when excited. To his own ears it was grating. Jarring. Unpleasant. Earlier he didn’t care since he’d just let his mind drift. The big difference was that at this time he had to remain aware just so he wouldn’t hurt Xemnas. This body was still pretty new. There had been a few times where control had slipped. Broken a few glasses, bent a few spoons. Unintentional accidents.]
I sound like a squeaky toy or something!
[That was an exaggeration. Yet Xemnas asked to know what was going on. Roxas once again placed his hand over his mouth to muffle the noises that he’d been holding back. There was still explicit permission to keep going, he wanted to keep going. Needed to keep going. His heart wouldn’t feel full if they stopped just because he had become hung up on something as simple as hating his own voice.
Unlike his former Superior, the blond couldn’t keep his emotions from showing. Everything would always be laid out in the open. Anger, happiness, sadness. Didn’t matter what he felt, he’d be easy to read. What he wouldn’t give to be able to look as calm and collected as Xemnas right now. Not a red faced mess with his eyes focusing on everything but the man before him.]
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How much even the admission was unnerving Roxas was blatant, something the Superior couldn't miss even if he weren't trying to read his heart, which he did.
Little did he know that Nobodies-turned-Somebodies experienced hangups about their vessels on occasion. Not everyone experienced them the same way. Some folk’s hangups would be a walk in the park for someone else, trivial even, but it was still psychologically damaging for the person in question. Being so aware of it meant that Roxas had little idea how to stop thinking about it, having a depreciative self-image. How to live with it. Maybe that was what he needed from him. Instead of mockery and rejection, his former boss nodded in acknowledgement.)
I appreciate you letting me know.
(Contrary to his friends, Xemnas didn't pry. He didn't pity Roxas. Any of his suggestions would be motivated purely by the process of helping Roxas conquer his inner demons. To breed an animal desire to be held back by nothing, to define his own sense of freedom, even in the bindings of their relationship to each other. There were no chains. No shackles.
No matter how possessive the two of them became, they felt stronger as individuals together.)
Few people can handle . . . my size without some complications. Without full insertion, my pleasure is diminished.
(In an effort to make it an even trade so the experience, the silver-haired man had to share something of a guarded secret. The hiding -- the compartmentalizing -- had no room here. With what the older of the two hoped to achieve, complete honesty was required to produce meaningful results. No more blank wall for him to hide behind.)
Orgasms are hard to come by.
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Though Roxas had a feeling he wouldn’t be getting too much taller or bigger in general if he really shared that trait with Sora and Ventus. That issue could be overcome. Hopefully. Would “practice makes perfect” apply to this situation? It would take time. Impatience would not do well to give into.]
There’s nothing I can do to help? I know I don’t know a lot, but if you want that orgasm thing, then… is there another way?
[The blond would be loathe to take any suggestions that didn’t involve him. The fact that Xemnas said few people could handle him just told Roxas that there was someone out there who could. Someone not him. He can’t say that didn’t leave a bitter taste in his mouth.
It would be quite a challenge not to let that disappointment and irritation show on his face. To calm himself, he took a deep breath through his nose. Suggesting Xemnas find a temporary partner until Roxas was ready would be the very last thing he’d ever bring up. No. Other things had to be tried first.
Roxas was more than a little possessive of Xemnas already in this short of a time. There is a flash like a challenge in his eyes. No one else could have this man in front of him without the former Nobody putting up one hell of a fight.]
Just tell me what I can do, and I’ll do it.
[Or make an attempt. There was only so much he can do with limited experience. Even if he had some things he was curious to try. Xemnas still had the lead in this for now. It was either do what was suggested or potentially die of embarrassment trying.]
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There were secondhand memories, cloying and addictive, of two forlorn men chasing that which they could never have. He wouldn't talk about it. It was just something that was there, lying between them like rain rolling down a windowpane; something that simply was. As they were.)
Certainly. If you wouldn't mind addressing me . . . by my former title.
(Already his voice was starting to change. Xemnas had one tone and register for dealing with the public, if he was in line at the bank or at the mog shop, or an upscale boutique. But now the other Xemnas was coming out - the sexier, lust-crazed Xemnas. There was something predatory in the way the former Superior toppled him back onto the sweat-soaked bedspread, sun-burnt fingers running up and down prominent hip-bones as if they belonged there.
He couldn't help it. It was in his nature.)
Call me Superior. Acknowledge my . . . mastery.
(It drove him wild. Made him lecherous, undeserving of Roxas' subservience. There was no denying the effect it had on him to be baring his secrets to him, and it felt liberating not to be judged. His lips form Roxas' name like a mute prayer, movement and soft echoes of breath against his key's bruised mouth in the space between kisses. When the concerted assault of lips, teeth, and tongue made Xemnas' knees waver, his tongue pressed, licked into him with intent alternately teasing and soul-deep, tasting the edges of the dark places where Roxas kept his secrets locked so tightly away. Caught in the sweet rough slide of their cocks was a cascade of obscene sounds that could be accredited to either of them, drawing awareness inward and to the immediacy of his lust, of skin and the wildfire throb of their pulse, singular, hearts joining as one, dizzying him with the heat of being pressed so close, closer, never close enough.
Xemnas growled low, loving the friction. At the same time he put his mouth right next to his ear, breathing in sweat and sea salt, and growled his ultimate command.)
Say the words, my key. My beautiful fuckbird.
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At least Roxas would pride himself with the fact that once he was more experienced, he would not be the completely subservient partner one would hope for. He’d be clear in voicing what he wanted and learn how to get it. Being bottom would be fine as long as he could assure his own needs were also met and it wouldn’t be one sided. If there was something Roxas hated, it was being used. He’d refuse to let that ever happen again.
That request made the blond tilt his head. Xemnas wanted to be called Superior? Roxas had no idea what kinks were, but if he did, this would be one. Potentially. To him right now it seemed like a strange request till he was on his back and looking up at the other. His heart was thudding like crazy with the voice and view change, hands roaming along parts of Roxas he didn’t know could be so sensitive.
He would have nodded if the assault of kisses didn’t still his tongue. His own hands roamed over Xemnas’ shoulders only for them to end up wrapped up in the silver white tresses. The feeling of that silkiness between his fingers just added to what they were doing. Roxas found himself panting and wanting more, letting his Superior do what he wished, as long as the contact remained. Skin on skin, lips against lips. It didn’t matter. He just wanted more. He was back to almost not caring how lewd and high pitched he sounded with the attention. And he’d get more if he said a certain word.
The swearing made his cheeks flush. Hot air against his ear causing a shiver to run up his spine. The worst words he was used to were things like “damn” and “hell”. To be called a fuckbird felt… not insulting. He didn’t know how to describe it, but it wasn’t insulting. That train of thought could be followed later as he went back to focusing on what was at hand. Xemnas wanted something from him. The blond bit his lip hard as he calmed his heart just enough to be able to voice those words. He forced his eyes to look at Xemnas’ as he opened his mouth.]
You’re my Superior.
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Assertiveness had its appeal, even if Roxas didn't show it much given his inexperience. Of greater appeal, though, were greater attributes Roxas had about him: he voiced his needs and valued his partner's. As soon as he picked up on something his Superior craved, he tried to make it happen. Once Roxas was more at ease with sexual acts, Xemnas would show him what it was like to surrender to being claimed, being taken. That it was possible to be claimed and taken without being used and left behind. That was what Somebodies meant by trust?
It had to go both ways. Because their hearts had joined, they could give in, they could let go . . .
They could just be.
His mouth was open and breathing hard, panting almost, as his vessel went into sexual overdrive. Belatedly he felt small, heated hands roam over the breadth of his shoulders, twisting on the silkiness of his tresses, making his insides feel hot and warm. He felt disoriented, overwhelmed by the toned softness of his petite body that ground up against the hardness of his.
You're my Superior.
It was a valve, loosened at last. It felt good. He cried out and tilted forward, reaching down to rub the head of his cock over Roxas' virgin slit. In a split second, he imagined things. Dirty, dirty things. Roxas' face being driven into the mattress with each press forward of his tanned long, driving cock. His cute bottom, hipless and sweat-slick, jiggling and compressing up against his abdominal area as he buried himself to the hilt, pulled out again, and re-buried, thrusting quickly. Like a Service Top for his Power-Bottom. For his fuckbird.)
Ah -- My key!
(The cheap bed rattled with the relentless pounding, Xemnas' hips pistoning with barely restrained strength – it was all he could do to hang on, clinging to the supine boy as if lost at sea, the only safety the driftwood currently losing control. He was gasping, his crimson-soaked face afire with the knowledge that he was ejaculating, crying out with bestial release, his cock swelling thicker still as the explosive uncoiling of all the tension built over the evening spilled over Roxas' ass and down into the sheets. It was all so primal, he couldn’t help but let out a growl as he pumped himself to climax and let his little lover see every detail. The intensity of orgasm flooded his body in hormonal ecstasy, vision blurring at the edges, limbs tingling with the lactic acid ache of a job well done. It scattered all his thoughts and left him mindless so that he only felt: his own pleasure and the relentless friction. It was soft, good, perfect.)
Come, my beautiful fuckbird. Sing for me.
work zapped my creative energy, sorry for the delay
Trust used to be given so freely when he had been in the Organization. A long time ago he had to trust to survive in the world. Now that the young blond had a choice in who he wanted to give that trust to, it was far more reserved. The man above him had his trust. Whether from the fact they were soulmates, or that Roxas just went with his intuition, there was trust there. He’d learn to let go and be taken. Make sure to let the Xemnas know if something they were doing was not what he wanted and hoped there would be trust in return. Learning to not be in control would be a good lesson for him as long as he could have it back when everything was over.
Eyes went wide when he felt and saw a change. The noise that Xemnas made sent a shiver down his spine, heat more intently pooling in his stomach. Then there were the new sensations. The new friction. It was enough to make him swallow down a startled noise, eyes shut tightly. Which made everything feel so much more sensitive and intense. His hands moved from Xemnas’ hair as the bed moved under them, to the other’s broad shoulders. Nails dug into tanned skin as Roxas looked for something to cling to. He’d feel bad after leaving scratches all over. Maybe consider keeping them shorter.
He forced himself to look up at Xemnas, feeling his own climax imminent. Seeing his superior red faced, showing open and honest emotion with his release, brought out both a strange calm and an intense burning inside of the small blond. Roxas became a little too stunned by what he was witnessing to let the thought of his own pleasure to be brought to fruition.
Words were said. Took a moment to register their meaning. He found himself not caring about his own release as he did his best to pull Xemnas down against him. His small arms wrapped themselves around the broader man’s shoulders, the small blond hiding his face in that silvery hair. Time. Just a few minutes. He needed to calm his heart down. There was too much going on to think straight. Small noises slipped form his lips with every movement he makes, his body wanting what his mind couldn’t connect with.
Overwhelmed. That’s what this was.]
I… I will… [Why were hearts so difficult. He just wanted to feel good, but Xemnas had just been too much, too pretty and attractive, to keep his mind on that. It really wasn’t fair.]
No worries! :D
Finally—after allowing his spiking blood to settle, his heart to fit neatly into the Roxas-shaped space (Sora or Roxas, he wasn't sure) he’d only just realized that he’d been carving all this time— Xemnas pressed him closer, possessively trapping him into the circle of his arms. He could stop right then, wouldn't have needed further excuse, with Roxas' head nestled against his neck and his arms wound tight where he'd left love scars. But it wouldn't have been half as fair to take Roxas to the brink of climax, let it plateau to unbearable levels, only to cruelly deny him release. Even though there were no thresholds he couldn't cross, to do something like that so early in their sex life would devastate the insecure adolescent. Xemnas wouldn't -- couldn't -- allow it to happen.
The amount of trust Roxas held for him was enormous, and Xemnas couldn't bring himself to tease him about his stamina following a long recovery. Not when he was made an extension of his strange family -- a lover of sorts. Roxas was good in a fight, probably just as good in a bed, and it was heartbreakingly cute to not see that ferocity often displayed in battle under the sheets. Still, even for a moment, it was enough just to look, taking stock of him with the same cool intensity, unflinching, though now through half-lidded eyes. Filthy and on the bed, a pretty picture.
With no further argument but an exhale of relief, Xemnas rolled him onto his side facing away from his face, spooning him, silver hair softly brushing against spindly shoulders. A pair of massive arms moved to encircle his tiny waist, his knees spreading his coltish legs apart, his softening cock pressed close against the cleft of his pert, fair ass. Xemnas could be obliging him, too, when it suited him. Yet he debated drawing this out, that moment Roxas needed to settle down. In the end, Xemnas chose to help him come down from the sensory overload resulting from fornication. Kisses came and went, never lingering long enough to rekindle his arousal, but he doubted anything would rekindle it now but completion in this teen's body, maybe more than once. If only Roxas could discard that timidity in favour of this easy mindlessness, conscious thought all narrowed down to motion, every sensation; if only Roxas could pretend at not having any kinder intentions than those that might lead soonest to satiating so much violent, self-centred want.)
This will be enjoyable. Mark my words, dear.
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He’d just be determined to overcome this as soon as he could. Be better. Feel silly for chiding himself. This was a first. No one was good their first time. Well. Maybe. He didn’t know what good was just yet when it came to sex. Everything felt good, so he’d have to measure all future interactions on this time. The future seemed like a good thing to think about, yet it made the overwhelmed boy worse. He couldn’t think about what would happen in the present yet to come.
Focus on the moment. Focusing on the hand in his hair, warm skin against his own. Taking one thing at a time as his heart beat out a sharp staccato. Each movement was jarring, and he wasn’t sure what his body was doing. The sudden change in position sent him reeling. He almost started flailing when he was stopped by arms around his waist. Feeling Xemnas breathing behind him made Roxas unconsciously try to match that rhythm. As more air got into his lungs, his mind started clearing, and he noticed that he was being peppered with occasional kisses. Roxas took a deep, long breath, closing his eyes as he exhaled.
Skin didn’t feel on fire anymore. Nerves were going back to their usual routine, the only parts hyper-aware being those connected to the other man. The blond was calmer now. Taking a few more breaths before he dared to glance back, he managed a small smile. His arms moved to drape over the tan ones wrapped around him.]
I’m… [He took a moment to think of how to word this without sounding strange. No. It would sound strange either way.] I’m happy you got what you wanted.
[Even if it wasn’t how Roxas wanted to help. He'd wanted to do more, but he had to remind himself his body had to be prepared. Kept having to tell himself not to rush. Yet there was something he noticed... He could tell just from how they were laying that something was different. Lighter than before. It was nice to bask in simple affections like this. He wondered how it would be when he was less shy and more assertive. Far more wanting and willing to his own needs and how to get them. Would they still have moments like this? Where he’d feel safe in these arms?
There was a sudden determination in his eyes as he kept looking at Xemnas.]
I want to try more next time. Okay? I can’t just keep calling you Superior and hope that works.
[Though he would definitely still use that title in the future. With a reaction like the one he got, why not? He wanted to see Xemnas unraveled again more than anything.]
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It dredges up concerns, doubts and worries, existential crises even, that are better left buried. Whether Roxas should be allowed secrets is not up for him to decide. Privacy is embedded in romantic expectations, nor does it seem like a disgusting lapse in judgment to allow him some space. Space to collect his thoughts. Space so he feels comfortable talking. The need for absolute control always lurks, though. Probably because it's part of emotional labour -- the projection of emotions he isn't feeling out of respect for Roxas' boundaries.
That's another thing for him to learn.
It's not often that the Superior has enough free time to bask in intimacy and re-arrange his brain to see the world in a different context. In Roxas'. Yet, despite everything, the more frightening part of him threatens to creep back into his conscious state. An effort is made to retain something of the spirit of reciprocation and encouragement that marks their first time. For that reason, Xemnas deepens the kisses they've shared. He runs a hand through Roxas' hair, watches the strands of it ripple between them and shimmies out of his pants. They're naked, connected. Physically and mentally, their hyper-awareness narrowed down to their maze of limbs. Pale ones draped over-tanned ones -- a contrast of milk and dark honey.
The choice of words isn't so much odd as it is sexually-loaded. It makes him think of having Roxas tie him to the bed they occupy and ride his whole length, to be in charge while regaining sexual confidence. The way Roxas holds himself yells "low self-esteem" in every direction now, so perhaps Roxas waits to be more assertive and not as shy. And it's funny how suddenly Roxas captures his complete attention with words like these.
Words insinuate themselves back in, and he lies where he is and the moon rises full and round, higher in the star-embroidered canopy of the heavens.)
Well, (The request of Roxas is so explicit that there can be no doubt as to his intentions.) Sex has many facets, but it is trial and error to discover them.
(Heated fingers smooth down his toned midriff.)
There's plenty to go around.
(There's tension mapped into his hands. Desperation, too. He traces them. Quick and light and curious, fascinated. As he dares to be. As he dares to show. He holds those hands in his, brushes his fingers, sensitive and writ with magic, across the sweat worn into the creases of the knuckles.)
We must be prepared for the well-intentioned meddling of your friends. Have they contacted you yet?
animal crossing took over my life
Though there would be times where the smaller blond would be too oversensitive to even want to be touched. This would likely be rare, yet it would happen. Today had almost been a time like that. But all the other times? He would appreciate even something as simple as holding hands. Just to remain close.
Show off the fact he might be more like a cat than a person at times as he leaned into the hand playing with his hair. It felt nice. If he could purr, he would. Kissing was nice. Fingers in his hair almost nicer.
Trial and error sounded right as Xemnas spoke. Everything needed that. Roxas nodded as his eyes drifted over to the wall across from him. There was still a lot to think about. Now that they had the time to just be, he found his mind wandering towards different topics.]
I know. I’ll learn.
[His eyes moved down to watch Xemnas play with his hands. Relaxing the muscles, he let the older man do so. Fascinated with how pale he was compared to his other half. How small his hands were, how easily cradled and hidden. It pulled at his lips, making him smile. He couldn’t explain why it made him more than a little happy. Maybe he’d figure it out later.
The mention of friends made Roxas blink a few times. Oh yeah… that was a thing. They’d likely be wondering just what he was up to with hours of unusual silence.]
Uh… I put my phone on silent, so I don’t know. [He was a little displeased as he thought of the task ahead. Laying here was warm…] I’d have to get my jacket. I left it in there.
Forget about any other form of entertainment. Give your soul to your Switch . . .
Laziness is truly infectious. Anticipating this doesn't change the outcome somehow.)
There are times when procrastination can be beneficial. We can reserve it for such a day as this.
(There seems to be no suspicion of an ulterior motive. Obviously he's nursing one, being the way he is. It's not about coming up with propositions for what to reply, for what to tell them, but about . . . control . It feels more like spying on his lover's chats than being of any help. He feels the need to check his social media and other devices. This is an invasion of privacy; it's a way for him to monitor Roxas' social life and that much Xemnas is aware of. Being soulmates means they're equal in all other aspects, except he still struggles with that notion of equality.
As long as he doesn't have the whole truth of his rebirth pieced out, the Superior feels extremely insecure. Incomplete. Like soul shards grotesquely mashed together to make a greater whole.
Meanwhile, Xion and Lea are wondering what Roxas has been up to. The silence has to be for a reason, or why else is he unreachable? Another tactful message is sent, informing the blond to come home whenever he feels like it. The irony of it all, however, is that they're at a sleepover party in Hayner's house, five blocks down.)
Your messages can wait. You need to not be tempted by that phone.
(Xemnas throws in, kissing down his temple. The moon rises clear, and the winter landscape was as gorgeous and beautiful as if it has not been whipped and torn by streetlights and various neon signs.)
it's making the days melt together holy heck
More than a bit sleepy as well. Today was a good day. He would sleep well when the need to finally claimed him.]
Maybe… but I need to check it eventually. Xion can get super worried, and she might come hunting for me.
[They were connected in a different way than he and Xemnas were. Xion might be able to use that connection to find Roxas, and he sighed internally at how she might react to a scene like this. Disappointed most likely for not telling her about Xemnas right away for sure as the biggest reaction…
And if Xemnas asked, Roxas saw no problem with the other looking through his phone. There really wasn’t anything that was bad on there and his social media history is pretty PG13. There’s memes shared between friends that the small blond just doesn’t get at the moment… Didn’t mean he couldn’t pretend to laugh along with his friends.]
… Five more minutes. I’ll get up in five minutes.
[And feel bad when he sees his phone. Remembering the planned sleepover. Apologize for missing it without giving away why he missed it. Send Namine a message about meeting him the next day or a few days from now, to talk, maybe explain things depending on how upset she might be about missing a friend’s night.
He smiled at the kiss. Xemnas was right. Phone be damned for the moment.]
I’ll make it ten minutes. You’re really warm.
That Easter-themed event though
The warmth in the room reaches for them, curls around them both.
Perhaps Xion would be more agitated by the fact that Xemnas is the man who Roxas has bedded down with. Has given up his purity to. All she knows so far from the connection they share is that Roxas fares well. Feels cared for, and if she may dare, loved? Only she can't help the nagging feeling of uneasiness looming over her during the sleepover party. It's faint, subdued even, but it's there nonetheless. For all that, the next thing she does is down her drink at the cheers of Lea. If anything, it's not acknowledging their budding relationship that may take a lot of getting used to, but the prickling fear that Xemnas abuses him the same way he's abused every single one of them. Or worse, much worse.)
A change of heart so soon? Not that I mind . . .
(As far as memes go, Xemnas kind of likes the most viral ones. Unbeknownst to many (aside from Xion), the Superior has a childish sense of humour and wonder, but also a childlike proclivity for creepy pranks. It's certainly not above him to draw on Roxas' face while he's peacefully sleeping and immortalize the moment with a collection of playful snapshots; or make fun of his backpain-inducing short size by putting his keys on a surface way too high for Roxas to reach unless he jumps and hits his head.)
Make it longer if you must. I will not convince you otherwise.
(Every tender gesture is made obscene by the situation. A giant of a man worshipping the sinfully young, physically and verbally.
The resolute promise to get up later instead of now is useless and the silver-haired man wants nothing more than to bask into true connection.)
I officially hate easter eggs...
Xemnas’ hair does tickle his skin, the kiss leaving a nice warm spot quickly cooled even with the warmth in the room when the other pulled away just enough.]
I’m comfortable. And they can wait! When Xion and Namine hang out, sometimes I don’t get a text back all day.
[Sorry, Xion. Roxas adored her, but girl’s day was a little annoying. He liked keeping in touch with both of them, and when Olette was involved, it was worse. Too his horror, a few times he’d been dragged into their little shopping trips and other things. Though he does have to admit to himself that he did have fun painting his nails. Irritation quickly changed to adoration in case Xion decided to dwell too much on how the blond was feeling.
He’d have to chastise her later if he were to find out she was drinking things she shouldn’t. For being such a reckless and troublesome boy, there was a few things Roxas was rather straight edged about.]
You don’t have to convince me. It’s fine. If they need something important, they can leave a message. It’s not like they can send anything after me.
[Right now he’s glad that Xion was never given the ability to summon lesser Nobodies, and as far as he knew, Lea and Isa were unable to anymore. How awkward would it be to have a few of those appear in the room to check on the small blond to assure he was safe.
They’d likely end up with a wrecked hotel room out of sheer panic from Roxas…]
I officially love FF7 REMAKE!
Xemnas stands by the window, a delicate cup of hot tea in hand, looking out over the sea of people, observing rather than losing himself in the revelry. He feels disconnected today, his skin so sensitive to every breath of wind. There's some itch in his skin, some tingling restlessness in his spine, some passion he cannot sate. A languid disinterest in anything not Roxas. He feels hot, alone, lost, as though he's left Roxas behind for others to enjoy. It must be separation anxiety. A defensive mechanism against loneliness, or the fear to lose him again. First the Sigil, on which Xemnas has shown dependency. There has to be another way to check up on Roxas without using Gummi technology. Something more organic, less threatening, easier to track.
As far as he knows, the ability to summon lesser Nobodies never goes away for good. The Superior holds a hand out and summons a Nobody to wake the blond up. If there's anything different from the summoned Nobody, it's definitely its shape and size. Very small, like a puppy. A cute one at that, showing unrelenting curiosity as he sniffs its way around until it finds Roxas on the bed. Xion hasn't left a message yet, probably because she's passed out from drinking things she shouldn't (though she's been sleeping peacefully knowing that Roxas is all right.)
Xemnas places his tea down on the table, a smile blossoming on his face.)
Greeting, my Beloved. It may not be quite the guard dog you are looking for.
(He steps over to the bed then leans down to press a slow kiss against Roxas' forehead, inhaling, breathing in the smell of the boy's skin. It makes Xemnas sigh, the tiniest of sounds, breathy and vulnerable and honest, warmth swelling in his chest. All the rest is sand tossed into the sea.)
Beware of its small stature: it is bulging with playful vigor in both shape and attitude.
I've been distracted writing another book, but it was a good game!
That was past Roxas. He was appreciating the rest right now. Even with Xemnas no longer in bed, he was curled up and quite content. Buried under whatever blankets had been left. A private little cocoon that was intruded on by something foreign. Roxas grumbled softly as he opened his eyes, the kiss abating some anger. Then he sat up rather quickly and stared at the strange little dog.]
… I’ve never seen a Nobody like that before…
[A hand is held out to the creature. It’s how he’d been taught to greet dogs in Twilight Town. Let them come to you. It kept Roxas from being bitten a few times as raised hackles were a good indicator that the canine wanted nothing to do with him. Cats were harder to read since even with distance they would at times strike. He still adored both animals.
Cats maybe just a tad more than dogs. They were easier to pick up and carry around.]
It’s weirdly cute. Can you make other kinds?
[Could a bird be created? Fish? Anything? Roxas had to admit that he would be delighted with pretty much anything. Wondering if Nobodies were as varied as Dream Eaters were. It was enough to get him to swing his legs off the bed, hissing softly when they touched floor not as nice and warm as the bed.]
Wait… what time is it?
Good to know! You're writing books as living? 0.0
Fewer seem to retain their form and memories.)
This lesser Nobody is unusual in both shape and intelligence. It is a possibility that the remaining parts left behind by its heart are driven by the will to protect its new Master . . . in memory of the one he's lost to Darkness.
(For some reason, his new companion can't help but aspire to bond with Roxas. To become as loyal as Dream Eaters are to Sora and help Roxas through it all. Its first intentions are born from the most sincere interest in his mental well-being. The small creature greets Roxas with wriggles and licks as the young blond holds his hand out to him, very retriever-like.
That's all it does: no biting, no snarling.)
The creation of Nobodies works in mysterious ways. I may be unable to intervene in their making as of now. Still, it has enough will to respond to my summoning.
(Then his hand hastily reaches out to cradle Roxas' cheek, curving around the roundness of it. His eyes darken at the prospect of heading for The World That Never Was. Even if he has yet to leave Roxas, the separation already feels like a lost limb. It's like a slender thread pulled tight. It offers no support but he's aware it is there.
Romantically, they've been irrelevant to each other. Socially, he's been a framework -- a set of rules for him to push against. But he’s been his Superior, prior to reclaiming the Sigil. A figure of authority, not a lover.
But not anymore.)
It is not the time for goodbye yet.
(A trace of sadness colours his words. Facial recognition fails to convey deeper emotions. One can tell by the sound of his voice that he's somehow concerned that Roxas is threatened with the temptation to open up to his friends about him. About them. Amber eyes follow the trail of saliva that is left behind by the dog's tongue, shifting from his cheek to his throat before dipping lower to his jutting collarbone. It lingers deliberately, a moment too long, before he allows it to drift back up to watch his lips form words.)
That feeling . . . (He shakes his head, hoping to hold back the slight tremor to his voice.) What is the name for it?
Naw, writing books is a hobby. I'm a data entry specialist for a living :D
I like it. It kinda looks like something Sora would have around. He’s got a lot of different Dream Eaters he can summon.
[Though they all have ridiculous names and attacks. Roxas sometimes felt envy, though, seeing as he wanted an adorable friend like that. This Nobody would do as he gains some confidence to pet the creature on the head gently.
Blue eyes moved to lock onto Xemnas. Looking a little confused as to why this touch was so quick. Was Xemnas jealous of Roxas lavishing his attention on the lesser Nobody?
No. That couldn’t be right. Xemnas wouldn’t have create it if he felt that way. Hopefully. The small blond would feel bad if he somehow caused the older man to feel jealous in some way. Though he knows that being apart might cause that feeling for them both.
Roxas was young and sometimes would get jealous just from friends hanging out together without him. A feeling he knew not to dwell or act on. Would Xemnas be the same? Not act on things like that? Roxas hoped so. He didn’t want too much strain between his friends and his now other half when he was finally ready to speak about what was going on.]
Feeling? [There were a lot of feelings. Roxas looked thoughtful as he let himself dwell on Xemnas leaving soon. Somewhat flushed from that noticed gaze drifting down before turning back to his face. A distraction that he pushed down as much as he could so his voice remained steady in reply.]
Loneliness, longing… maybe you’re feeling anxious? Nervous? Those emotions aren’t really that fun. When I get anxious, I feel like my chest is being squeezed super tight. Being nervous can lead to being anxious. Is it like that?
Really? Color me impressed! :3 By the way, what is your book about?
It's a supernatural thriller/urban fantasy
Sounds amazing! And long time no see!
Hii!!! Sorry, work made replying hard.
T.T Same! Work affects my writing
and then i got injured 8D sorry for the delay
Don't be sorry for the delay! :C How have you been? Has your injury healed?
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cw : oral, voyeurism -ish?
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